Wednesday, August 06, 2014

Fictional Parents

When I think back on parents, as portrayed in sitcoms or dramas or movies or books from 25 plus years ago, the couple did not seem dissatisfied with their life--or at least their lot in being a parent. Now things seem very different on TV and Movie land. It seems like people over thirty always regret being an adult. They would like to spend their evenings having sex with strangers, taking drugs, drinking themselves into oblivion. I wonder if this is just Hollywood's take on things or if most people see having a real job, a real marriage, and children as the beginning of the end. That there is no satisfaction to be had in any of it.

When I think of the Huxtables, the Keatons, the Cleavers, they seemed fairly satisfied. If I had to date a change in the air, I might look to THIRTY SOMETHING in the late eighties when all of the central characters seem to struggle so mightily with adulthood.

What do you think? When did growing up lose its allure? When did forty somethings start to envy twenty-one year olds so much? 

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yes, the whiners on Thirtysomething definitely started a trend, though they were hardly the first cheaters or divorcees. There are still a few parents like Eric & Tami Taylor on television, but fewer each day, it seems.

And speaking of Thirtysomething I can still remember how annoyed I was when Hope was whining how "it's not fair" that they have to deal with "problems" like sick parents because they were, in her mind, too young.

Well, boo hoo.

Jeff M.

Anonymous said...

Then again, I'm not sure I'd call the Huxtables or the Cleavers realistic portrayals necessarily. I think Dan & Roseanne Conner were a pretty realistic picture of your blue collar family with real problems and real reactions until the show went off the rails the last few years.

Jeff M.

pattinase (abbott) said...

And boy did it!!

Todd Mason said...

Well, just one of many where the star decided that they were the Only Begettor of the series (and were indulged thus), and discovered, hey, there's a reason there are writers and even producers in the world. See also, GRACE UNDER FIRE, THE COSBY SHOW after the first season but extremely obviously by the time half any given episode was devoted to Cosby mugging at small children, CYBILL, THE DREW CAREY SHOW, MAGNUM PI, HAWAII FIVE-0 the original, M*A*S*H to too great an extent, etc.

Of course, 30somethings aren't 40somethings, and the 40somethings in ONCE AND AGAIN (and the duo at the heart of GILMORE GIRLS) were a hell of a lot more interesting in part because they were a lot more engaged in their adult lives than the characters of the likes of PARENTHOOD now. The thing about THIRTYSOMETHING (and for that matter the first season of THE COSBY SHOW) was that there was other facts about their lives than the fact that they were parents, which was a bit of an innovation in US series television, where even the more sophisticated series in the past tended to either not deal with parenthood (MARY TYLER MOORE, M*A*S*H, BOB NEWHART) or deal with situations such as parents of already adult children (ALL IN THE FAMILY). THE middle-generation WALTONS didn't have Too much in their portrayed lives beyond their parenthood, and much of the series was focused on the youth.

Todd Mason said...

(The GILMORE GIRLS duo not being 40Somethings but a 30Something and her half, and only half, her age daughter, with the mother still coming to terms with her own parents...just to make sure I don't mislead anyone, at least into thinking I've not realized this.)

Todd Mason said...

Actually, though, what are you watching?

"It seems like people over thirty always regret being an adult. They would like to spend their evenings having sex with strangers, taking drugs, drinking themselves into oblivion."

The closest I seem to come to this is SHAMELESS and RAY DONOVAN, where this is true of the jackasses (and worse) on the series. Doesn't sound too much like THE GOOD WIFE, LONGMIRE, HALT AND CATCH FIRE or PLAYING HOUSE, to catch a pretty wide net over some of the better series right now...nor even MASTERS OF SEX. I do have to wonder about the protagonist in RECTIFY's willingness to drop any pill that's put in his hand, but he's certainly a damaged character.

Todd Mason said...

Or even cast a wide net! Internal spell-correct?

pattinase (abbott) said...

HOW I MARRIED YOUR MOTHER, MARRIED, MOM, THE MINDY PROJECT-truly almost any sitcom I cruise by is populated with people bemoaning becoming an adult. I am not talking about bad parents as much as people scared to be parents or adults.

Todd Mason said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Todd Mason said...

The more formulaic sitcoms. Hm. I've managed to miss all them so far, except a few episodes of HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER, which was always pretty weak.

Todd Mason said...

Oh, wait, no, I've seen MARRIED, or at least two episodes. Boy, it's weighted toward the man-boy husband, certainly.

Todd Mason said...

There is a lazy notion in scripting that there's nothing funny/compelling about a happy relationship. (And, of course, there are entirely too many superannuated children everywhere, and always have been, but not a few of them in H'wood.)

pattinase (abbott) said...

Yes, the boy man has been around for a while but now the girl woman is coming into play. And we see it in so many movies as well. Nothing is better than boozing with the boys.

Anonymous said...

Well, like Todd I don't watch those shows, Patti.

Jeff M.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I watch every show once and almost none twice.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I watch every show once and almost none twice.

Todd Mason said...

Well, since MARRIED has Judy Greer as the wife, I'm inclined to give it far too many chances. (Much of the rest of the cast better than the scripts so far, too.)

There is such a surfeit of good to brilliant tv right now that it's rather easy to give anything one shot only, but there are quite a few uneven series with worthwhile episodes...not that it was worth slogging through the weaker episodes of CROSSING JORDAN, for example. Alice is campaigning for me to take in the later, better episodes of CHARMED, and certainly if one was to judge, say, THE X-FILES by its first season only one would be reasonable to be utterly unimpressed. (Of course, I gave LOST two or arguably three chances, since I saw the pre-broadcast version of the pilot that combined the first two episodes, and came away thinking, Well, That's Just Stupid...and nothing much I've seen or heard from the balance of the series made me wish I'd given it more of a chance. Golly, y'think they're in Purgatory?)

Todd Mason said...

YOU'RE THE WORST, about damaged superannuated children, is pretty good, btw.

Todd Mason said...

Of course, also, there's a lack of stable and reasonably well-paid employment (comparatively), and to some extent a sense of how irresponsible young-family-starting can be these days.

Kevin R. Tipple said...

Mine were always unhappy about how life had happened. This, despite that their health problems (as compared to ours) were relatively minor and they had the emotional and financial support of the parents on both sides (which we did not ever have). My parents never had a clue just how bad things could get and thought their lives were hard.

In fact, shortly before my Dad passed, he told me that my wife Sandi had terminal cancer because we had made "bad choices and refused to accept responsibility for them."

Todd Mason said...

Wow, Kevin, you never mentioned your father was the Guy Who Knew How Karma Was Allotted! Fun at parties. Condolences.

Kevin R. Tipple said...

He had his better moments too. Mixed bag deal.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Horrible stuff, Kevin. Hope the better moments stick more than the others.

Kevin R. Tipple said...

It is a tossup. Normally I don't talk about this stuff, but this has been one of those hard days here. Sorry about spewing.

Deb said...

I can tell you from working in the schools that we have so many parents who are biologically responsible for their children being on earth, but don't seem to want to take any further responsibility--emotionally, physically, financially, health-wise, food-wise, providing a home, clothing, support, the list goes on.

I think we've really developed a culture of discontent over the past few decades. This goes hand-in-hand with people wanting more things, feeling that they've been left out or denied something that others have, everything being stoked by "aspirational" TV, websites, even things like celebrity home/swag Instagram photos. It isn't just being a parent that people chaff against, it's the whole notion that somehow they have not been "blessed" with all the material goods that others have. It's being discontented with everything.

pattinase (abbott) said...

You are one wise woman!

George said...

Deb is right. My students are obsessed with material things: the latest iPhone, the "right" clothes, etc. Adult concerns like raising good kids are way down on their list.

Todd Mason said...

I have to wonder how common good parenting has ever been. My parents had no models for it, certainly.