Wash the white clothes on Monday and put them on the stone heap; wash the color
clothes on Tuesday and put them on the clothesline to dry; don’t walk bare-head in the hot
sun; cook pumpkin fritters in very hot sweet oil; soak your little cloths right after you take
them off; when buying cotton to make yourself a nice blouse, be sure that it doesn’t have gum
in it, because that way it won’t hold up well after a wash; soak salt fish overnight before you
cook it; is it true that you sing benna in Sunday school?; always eat your food in such a way
that it won’t turn someone else’s stomach; on Sundays try to walk like a lady and not like the
slut you are so bent on becoming; don’t sing benna in Sunday school; you mustn’t speak to
wharf-rat boys, not even to give directions; don’t eat fruits on the street—flies will follow you;
but I don’t sing benna on Sundays at all and never in Sunday school; this is how to sew on a button;
this is how to make a buttonhole for the button you have just sewed on; this is how to hem a
dress when you see the hem coming down and so to prevent yourself from looking like the
slut I know you are so bent on becoming; this is how you iron your father’s khaki shirt so that
it doesn’t have a crease; this is how you iron your father’s khaki pants so that they don’t have
a crease; this is how you grow okra—far from the house, because okra tree harbors red ants;
when you are growing dasheen, make sure it gets plenty of water or else it makes your throat
itch when you are eating it; this is how you sweep a corner; this is how you sweep a whole
house; this is how you sweep a yard; this is how you smile to someone you don’t like too
much; this is how you smile to someone you don’t like at all; this is how you smile to
someone you like completely; this is how you set a table for tea; this is how you set a table for
dinner; this is how you set a table for dinner with an important guest; this is how you set a
table for lunch; this is how you set a table for breakfast; this is how to behave in the presence
of men who don’t know you very well, and this way they won’t recognize immediately the slut
I have warned you against becoming; be sure to wash every day, even if it is with your own
spit; don’t squat down to play marbles—you are not a boy, you know; don’t pick people’s
flowers—you might catch something; don’t throw stones at blackbirds, because it might not
be a blackbird at all; this is how to make a bread pudding; this is how to make doukona; this
is how to make pepper pot; this is how to make a good medicine for a cold; this is how to
make a good medicine to throw away a child before it even becomes a child; this is how to
catch a fish; this is how to throw back a fish you don’t like, and that way something bad won’t
fall on you; this is how to bully a man; this is how a man bullies you; this is how to love a
man, and if this doesn’t work there are other ways, and if they don’t work don’t feel too bad
about giving up; this is how to spit up in the air if you feel like it, and this is how to move
quick so that it doesn’t fall on you; this is how to make ends meet; always squeeze bread to
make sure it’s fresh; but what if the baker won’t let me feel the bread?; you mean to say that after all-are you really going to be the kind of woman who the baker won’t let near the bread?
!
Seemed like a better idea to post the story than review it. What makes it interesting to me is the cultural differences. And the idea itself. What did you parents teach you to do? What did they not? We should all write a story like this.
George Kelley
Kevin Tipple
Jerry House
Todd Mason