"HOW I CAME TO WRITE THE STORY" "Bismarck Rules" Al Tucher

"How I Came to Write" BISMARCK RULES

By Albert Tucher

Early in 2003 I needed a break from working on The Homicide Sisters, the third of my five still unpublished novels about suburban prostitute Diana Andrews. At this point I had only the novels to show for my three years of work on my series character, and I thought I might like to try a short story. Right about then I had to go for my first colonoscopy. Those of you who have enjoyed this rite of middle-aged passage will know that it involves the services of a chauffeur. The proctologist will not allow the patient to drive or even take a taxi. I had a friend to drive me, but it occurred to me that some patients would not.

By this point I had learned enough about Diana's business to know that men often hire prostitutes for jobs that are only distantly related to sex. There was my starting point--what if a client hired Diana to pose as his girlfriend and handle the transportation?

I thought I had a comedy, but I was wrong. The story quickly took a very dark turn. It also went in directions that conflicted with Diana's biography. I decided to focus instead on her sidekick from the novels, another prostitute named Mary Alice aka Crystal.

The story came in at 7,500 words. Its length and grim subject matter made placing it difficult. More than thirty short stories later, Bismarck Rules still holds my record for rejections, which ranged from intemperate to regretful.

The editors of the late lamented Murdaland Stories wrote four paragraphs about everything they had liked about the story, and then said they didn't have room.

I suspected that when I finally placed the story, it would be in an online publication, where space considerations are less important. And in fact, it was the online Oregon Literary Review that published Bismarck Rules in the summer of 2009.

I printed it out and submitted it to Otto Penzler, who informed me in early 2010 that Lee Child and he had selected the story for The Best American Mystery Stories 2010.

That was still not the end of it. Sometime soon, New Word City will bring out a e-book edition of the story, which is available at the publisher's website and at Amazon and B&N.

Mary Alice has since starred in three other stories. She and Diana don't always get along, but I have become fond of her in an exasperated sort of way. She'll be back.

Bismarck is available here. And on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Thirty short stories from the Diana universe have appeared in print and online publications. One story, called Bismarck Rules, is included in the anthology The Best American Mystery Stories 2010, edited by Lee Child and Otto Penzler.