This is a game my husband, Phil, and I play. How much would someone have to pay you to see again or for the first time a particularly undesirable movie.
His top choice is Steel Magnolias; he would have to be paid $5000 to see it again.
My choice is THE MAGDALENE SISTERS, where I would demand $1500. Now TMS is a good, very good, movie but I can't bear to watch the torture in it again. Any movie with torture commands a huge payoff for me.
Steel Magnolia is just too girly and weepy for Phil. So there are different reasons for high figures here.
We both would ask about $1000 to watch TERMS OF ENDEARMENT. Death of young mothers does not sit easily with me and I am not fond of Shirley McLaine.
Too girly and weepy for Phil.
FORREST GUMP-there is no amount.
What movie would you demand the most money to sit through again and why?
48 comments:
So many choices. WANTED, CRASH (the Oscar winner), ID4/INDEPENDENCE DAY, and at least two of the STAR WARS films were among the worst things I've ever paid to see, so at least a C-note to suffer through any of those again.
Good question! As Todd said, so many choices.
I would never put TERMS OF ENDEARMENT on the list but I can understand it. As for INDEPENDENCE DAY, I admit to having seen it many more than one time as Jackie loves it.
Let's see, what comes immediately to mind?
1. American Beauty - cannot express eloquently enough how much I hated this.
2. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace - I hated this one so much I vowed never to watch another, even had they (as unlikely as it seemed) received rave reviews.
3. Luna (aka La Luna) - Bernardo Bertolucci stinker with Jill Clayburgh screwing her son.
4. Mel Brooks' History of the World - Part 1. You'll notice there was never a Part 2.
5. Ilse - She Wolf of the SS and Ilse - Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks. I'm ashamed to admit I watched these.
6. Last House on the Left - after seeing this Wes Craven garbage you need a shower.
7. I Spit on Your Grave - see #6.
All of them are priceless as there is not enough money to make me sit through any of them again.
Jeff M.
$1500 for Pauly Shore in ENCINO MAN(or any of his films) and a cool grand for George Clooney in BATMAN AND ROBIN.
"Jaws 3 in 3-D": Those glasses gave me one of the worst migraines of my life. Almost 30 years later, I can still feel my temples pounding. There would have to be enough money to pay off at least one credit card for me to sit through it again. And there'd have to be enough money to pay off my mortgage if I also had to wear those glasses.
Bertolucci and Shore and any JAWS sequel are pretty damned persuasive arguments as well, and the typically overrated Craven thing...THE VIRGIN SPRING so vastly better in every possible way, the Craven thing (and its several remakes) insults to the artistry of the original.
I wish somehow STAR WARS first three eps could be wiped from the face of the earth. Such a crime if a kid sees those first.
American Beauty-it fooled me once but not twice. And now Kevin Spacey is ruined for me.
Pauly Shore-who ever banked on him?
JAWS 3D I missed. I don't really enjoy 3 D and usually opt for the regular version.
$900 for any of the following (off the top of my head):
WATERWORLD
KAFKA
A PERFECT STORM
oh...and most recently the darling of the sh*theeled...
THE HANGOVER
Sadly, I saw all of them.
Hey, I agree on both of these movies, though I could see them for a 90% discount off your prices.
Boys Don't Cry leaps to mind. $250. Disturbing violence, strong performances. Last Exit to Brooklyn. Ditto.
Are you serious? Does this include movies I've walked out on? That really shortens the list. SOPHIE'S CHOICE made me physically ill.
Yentl. Even writing the title makes me physically ill. Actually any movie with Barbra.
Yes, I would almost rather see a terribly bad movie than re-see a terribly sad one. And Sophie's Choice certainly was horrific.
I have managed to avoid every Streisand movie since Funny Girl.
Nothing wrong with YENTL that removing Streisand and the songs wouldn't fix. Bashevis Singer manages to poke through, just a bit, and the rest of the cast good enough, particularly Irving and Pantinkin not too hammy.
Much as I had read actually excellent horror by folks ranging from Robert Bloch to Shirley Jackson to Robert Aickman to Margaret St. Clair to Saki to Muriel Spark and on and on, I was not predisposed to be impressed by Stephen King, I had already read a lot of excellent sf, including excellent space opera, before seeing STAR WARS, and I wasn't impressed there, either. The second ("fifth") film improved matters slightly. I've never seen the "third"/sixth nor the "sixth"/third films and don't need to.
Forest Gump was terrible. I also saw The Muse with Sharon Stone--that was atrocious. Don't think I could sit through that one again. And Meet Joe Black was potentially the most boring movie I've ever seen.
EYES WIDE SHUT--at least $5,000 to sit through that again. I'm convinced Kubrik was already dead when he directed it--certainly rigor mortis has set in.
Yes, FORREST GUMP was pretty bad but as a Best Picture winner can't reach the depths of AMERICAN BEAUTY or CRASH. It was jsut an overlong bore with a few good bits.
I disliked ORDINARY PEOPLE too, but that was because MTM was channeling my mother to a frightening degree.
Jeff M.
EYES WIDE SHUT didn't bother me too much at the time but since then I have come to detest Cruise so I think it would drive me crazy on a second viewing.
MTM was frightening in that part, wasn't she?
THE MUSE was awful. I don't think Sharon Stone's career survived it.
Of the movies I have seen or tried to sit through, The Professional is probably the worst. I should have known, because it has both Gary Oldman and Jean Reno, two excellent actors who have shown an unhappy instinct for choosing bad projects. Any film with both of them is doomed. At least a thousand dollars.
Of the movies I have not seen, the new Ayn Rand adaptation. (Atlas Shrugged? I have made a point of learning as little as possible). I wouldn't see it if it would cure hemorrhoids.
ATLAS SHRUGGED. Ten thousand at least.
Hey, at least the Fascist production of THE FOUNTAINHEAD had Alida Valli in it...as well as the joy of seeing the product rolling out of freedom-loving Mussolini's studios...
$10K might be about the budget of ATLAS SHRUGGED...
But John Galt would approve of the greed!
Oh, so many, SO many! Ha!
I wouldn't watch any of the Halloween slasher movies for any amount under a million. And even then I'd have to do some serious thinking.
Wouldn't watch CRASH for any amount under 5 thousand.
Wouldn't watch that Robert DeNiro boxing movie that won all the awards years ago for less than a hundred thou. I simply cannot stand DeNiro. He makes me physically ill. Well, almost.
He is so thuggish and brutish in whatever he plays. Ugh.
Haven't seen any of The Godfather movies. Don't plan to. There might not be enough money to make me. Well, maybe for a million. Another million and maybe I'd watch CASINO. But mostly with a blind fold in place.
HA!
Actually, given the current economy, I'd probably give a discount. :)
Funny you should ask this today. I don't know which movie would win if i took a lot of time for reflection, but The beloved Spouse and I watched HOUSE OF GAMES last night. I can't remember the last time i was more disappointed by a movie I'd heard such good things about. She bailed about half way through; I stuck it out till the bitter end. Sucker.
Some movies have to be seen in their time, I think. We watched THE GRIFTERS last night and I remembered it as so much better.
The Hills Have Eyes. Now,
I like schlocky, B-horror flicks as much as the next person (okay, maybe more so...apparently, I have a rather morbid side), but this movie made me want to rip my eyes out!
On second thought... $14,750.00... yeah... I would watch THHE again... for $14,750.00.
That one got by me.
Ditto on GUMP. I wish I could wash it out of my brain and eyes.
I loved The Professional and I published an essay writing about the differences between Last House on the Left and The Virgin Spring and what they could tell us about the times in which they were made. I'm glad people are making the distinction between harrowing and simply bad: I never made it through There Will Be Blood and nothing will drag me to see another one of his movies (whatsisname, Anderson?).
THE HILLS HAVE EYES, the original, is another Craven product. One must take into account not only the times, but the talent involved with and wherewithal of the productions...but even as such fine if eccentric films as CARNIVAL OF SOULS, SPIDER BABY, NIGHT TIDE and NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD were made on $12 budgets, with NIGHT TIDE actually perhaps having $22, the same non-money, with far less ingenuity or concern for making art so much as dull tweaking led to the original LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT. The remakes no more exploitive. But, at least, they do have the excuse of having no money...what's Bertolucci's excuse for a litany of the most inept films about sexual matters ever made, most overpraised and none moreso than LAST TANGO...I'm not sure there's any film more overpraised than LAST TANGO, unless it is something from Lucas or Spielberg.
Once was more than enough for me. Ick, ugh, yuck.
I'm gonna need mega-millions to ever (try to) sit through THEE ENGLISH PATIENT again.
Dumb and dumberer! "Priceless"
Veronica, I agree - I meant to include THE HILLS HAVE EYES along with LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT.
Jeff M.
Patti, I didn't include any Pauly Shore movies because I would never sit through one once, let alone twice.
Jeff M.
Ooh, I got one: MAME with Lucille Ball. At least $1000 for that one.
Jeff M.
THE ENGLISH PATIENT was a huge disappointment, wasn't it? It just didn't work at all.
Jackie wants me to mention the movie she hated most in recent years: THE DARK KNIGHT.
Jeff M.
Funny/strange that some of these movies I really like. Eyes Wide Shut, both Wes Cravens, There Will Be Blood. And The Professional is one of my favorites.
Even though I've seen it four times, I have no desire to ever watch Godard's 2 or 3 Things I Know About Her again. But, I'm pretty cheap, so if you have $25 or a couple John Ford dvds to trade, I'll swallow my pride and watch the Godard again.
On second thought, I'm cheaper than I wanted to admit. Pizza is all that is necessary. Not even my own -- I'll share. I might stare at the pizza instead of the tv, and thankfully I can't hear out of my right ear because of allergies. So...that is some consolation. One doesn't need to hear to enjoy pizza.
There's no amount of money that would make me watch anything with a Scientologist in it. Anything with Adam Sandler, Will Ferrell, Pauly Shore, Glenn Close, Oprah, Robbie Benson, Sinbad, Roseanne Barr, or Madonna would run you ten grand for me to watch. I know there are dozens more, but I don't want to think about them. Like Jerry Lewis.
Oh I have some stories about Scientologists.
$1000 for any Audrey Hepburn movie. Wa-a-ay too Hollywood. Never any real story attached. I know, I know, she's beautiful and she's got a long neck and she's like a little waif and all that, but you know, I don't care. That's not enough.
$5000 for BARRY LYNDON. I can only take so much flute music. And only so much Ryan O'Neal.
$5000 for PHILADELPHIA. Those AIDS movies were a major turnoff. And way too preachy.
$10,000 apiece for each of the STAR WARS and STAR TREK movies. I can't really tell them apart anyway, except for the costumes that people wear when they show up at the theater. All I know is I'm glad they're finally over.
$25,000 for THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY. I heard all the bathroom jokes when I was in college. They weren't funny then, either.
and the grand prize:
$100,000 for THE BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES. There's never been a movie that disappointed me more, except maybe for DICK TRACY, but I can watch that again without demanding money.
Outside of my fondness for TO CATCH A THIEF and TWO FOR THE ROAD, this is a pretty darn good list.
$1000 for BLADE RUNNER. My memory of watching it is unpleasant. I ridiculed it mercilessly with my friends when it first came out. I think perhaps I may find something in it again this late in my life. But you'd have to pay me. It's not worth the $2.50 rental to me to find out.
$10,000 for UNNATURAL KILLERS. I walked out of it. The audience was roaring. I didn't find it funny at all. And Juliette Lewis is grotesquely annoying in what little I endured.
I know. I'm far from mainstream in my viewing preferences. These are cult classic movies. I'm a misfit outsider. What can I say?
I have a huge list of really awful horror movies that are a complete waste of time. No amount of money would satisfy me to waste my time on them again. Time itself is more valuable to me these days.
So agree about UNNATURAL KILLERS. Hated it.
The Sound of Music
The questions this raises is:
1) Why did you see the film the first time?
and,
2) Did you sit through the whole damn movie, even though you knew it was a stinker, just to get your money's worth?
Post a Comment