Monday, April 20, 2020

I'm Still Here-View From One Window.


There is scarcely a minute when some bike riders. etc. are not passing by my house. There are actually four in this photo.







Letting the gray hair come in on my head. Except it is more white than gray. Not sure how far I will go with it because it will probably take a year. But I am two months into it and no sign anyone other than my Shipt delivery person is going to see me. Or, and my therapist.

Being morose with my therapist allows me to be cheery with other people. Or at least I hope so. I can lay it all on her and she assures me every week, she can take it. I actually had a dream for her two weeks ago. She has been disappointed in my meager dream output until now. My dreams all share one element, I eventually end up in a dilapidated room, floor, city. I never return to actual places I have lived in. I always invent new ones. Do your dreams have a common thread?

I watched RIPLEY'S GAME on Prime and although it was awfully violent, I liked it. Thought Malkovich was a very credible Ripley. Also watching MRS. AMERICA, where Cate Blanchett gives her usual terrific performance.  Continuing to enjoy SCHITT'S CREEK and SHTISEL. Finished OZARK. Waiting to see how BETTER CALL SAUL ends. Been a great season. SCHITT"S CREEK is truly a feel-good show. It takes a few episodes to get going though.Nice to watch one show about nice, if quirky people.

Reading MOVIE LOVE IN THE FIFTIES and finishing up the Greg Iles thriller-which was okay but too much chasing around as usual.

Trying to walk on every good day. I do about 45 minutes. Again though, it is hard in my 'hood because everyone is out there walking all day long. I have never lived in a place like this before. Yesterday I dodged a few golf balls as I passed the section with the biggest houses and yards. It makes the dogs crazy to have so many people going by.

It will be one year since Phil died on the 23rd. I still sometimes imagine I hear him moving through the house.Guess that's normal.

How about you?

17 comments:

Margot Kinberg said...

Thanks for sharing your view from the window, Patti. I think that's a great idea - for people to share what they see like that. And thanks for the reminder of Schitt's Creek. I need to re-acquaint myself...

pattinase (abbott) said...

Such a pleasure to spend time in that tiny town.

Jeff Meyerson said...

Wow. Can't believe it is a year already since Phil died. It was two years since Bill Crider died in February, I think. Once in a while I think back to my parents. They had their 65th Anniversary party, then my mother died three months later, so that helps me pinpoint the date. It's been, wow, eight years already.

We started watching the first season of Schitt's Creek but haven't gone back to it lately.

I do have "theme" dreams at times, though not so much lately. One is travel - subways mostly, but also buses and railroad trains, and occasionally cars. Usually I will find myself on a subway platform - say 14th Street in Manhattan. But it isn't Union Square or any of the other actual 14th Street stops, just another one. I get on the train (usually an older kind that is no longer in service) and look up at the map and it is clearly a totally different (non-existent) line, and I have to figure out where it is going and how to get from where I am to where I want to be.

I have an "apartment house" dream. I'm in the basement of our building (which is three connected buildings), but when I go to the elevator to go upstairs, it is in fact several elevators and in a different place in the building, which itself is much bigger than it really is. Instead of going to six, the elevator goes much higher. When I get out, there are more corridors and more apartments, and in different locations than reality.

My happy place is the "secondhand bookstore" dream. I'm walking down the street (probably in an English city) and come upon a newly discovered "old" bookstore. I go in and start looking around and discover an entire bookcase of old Penguins and other World War II-era paperbacks, some familiar and some titles I don't know. They seem to be very reasonably priced - like a pound each - and I start pulling them off the shelves with glee.

Anyway, those are some of the recurring themes. I do have a "jeopardy" dream. I wake up because I think there is a noise at the other end of the apartment. (In these dreams, the apartment is similar in design to the actual one, but with some differences.) I get up and make noise, but when I turn the light on, nothing happens. Generally I wake up quickly.

I'm afraid I'm not getting any exercise and won't until I get back to the doctor in a couple of more weeks and can start walking regularly. We are getting out to the grocery once a week on Tuesdays, so there is that.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Those are like my dreams. I used to have one where I was losing my teeth. That one went away when I started losing them in real life. Also the showing up for a math exam and realizing I hadn't been to class all semester. Anxiety dreams are my most common. Or dreams where really nothing much happens good or bad.

George said...

I'm cheerfully spending the coronavirus pandemic getting caught up on my reading. And organizing my books. And listening to music every day. I know I'm the exception, but I'm happy with this Stay-At-Home order. Diane is busy baking and cooking (two activities she loves to do) . We Facebook Portal with Patrick and Katie each weekend. They're doing well working from home.

My dreams usually involve teaching a college class.

Diane found CLOROX wipes on her last shopping trip. Pure gold!

Steven A Oerkfitz said...

I tend to have very strange dreams but my recall of them usually goes away a few minutes after waking. I used to have the dream like you of going to class and realize I haven't been to class all year, or not being able to find my class. I believe these are very common dreams. People I know very rarely show up in my dreams. The last one I remember was feeling suffocated causing me to wake up suddenly. I think this was a reaction to wearing a face mask.
Just finished Max Allan Collins newest Nate Heller novel, Do No Harm. This time it revolves around the Sam Shepard case. Just started Broke. It is the new Don Winslow book. A collection of 6 long stories. Three of which are dedicated to Raymond Chandler, Elmore Leonard and Steve McQueen.
Binge watched the new season of Bosch and the first season of The Break which is a Belgian series on Netflix. Also watched The Stranger on Netflix. It was better than I expected it to be considering the lukewarm reviews. Although I did have a few problems with it.
The view outside my window is of a hotel and parking lot. I seldom open my blinds.
I don't know why I watch Trump's Rose Garden talks. Yesterday he was especially hard on the women reporters.
Tried to go for a walk yesterday but after a couple of blocks my lower back started seizing up and I had to turn around. I miss not being able to use the treadmill. It's off limits due to the pandemic. A lot of walkers, runners, bikers and dog walkers in my neighborhood to.

TracyK said...

What a lovely view. We live in a condominium and only have windows in the back and if we had front windows we would see a small parking lot. There is a fence beyond the parking lot, and behind that a bike path going to the university in one direction. This weekend we walked on the bike path and took photos. There were lots of cyclists and runners out, and some dog walkers. In our back "yard" we have let it go so not a great view but we have been working on it gradually.

I want to try Schitt's Creek. For some reason I don't like shorter (22 minute) shows, but we have watched all of Big Bang Theory and several seasons of Brooklyn 99.

Premature gray hair runs in my family so I have been gray for decades and getting whiter every year, although it is still not all white. Strange. Depending on how long it is before I see a stylist, maybe I will try longer hair again. My son has given himself a buzz cut and will do my husband's hair in a buzz cut when it gets too unruly.

Jerry House said...

White hair is surprisingly sexy. At least that's what I tell myself whenever I look in a mirror.

Fifty years ago, when I began as a reporter, I would dream I was typing out my dreams as they happened. at least in those dreams my typing was way better than it was in real life. I seldom have bad dreams. Most of my dreams are about happy times in the past or with my family. I do have the never been to class and have to take a final exam dream, often with the added strain of not knowing where the class is being held and (blush) sometimes in my underwear or completely naked; invariably in my dreams I ace the test, which is indicative of either my optimism or my giant ego.

Celebrated Amy's 22nd birthday this week with a bundt cake. Yum! Probably this Saturday, Amy will picking up a new dog from the rescue shelter -- a big plus for both Amy and the dog! Mark's birthday is coming up soon and I'm looking forward to more yummies.

Still binging on SUPERNATURAL, although binge watching the show in order makes me realize how much angst there is in the episodes. Still, it's a creative and fun show. Caught the latest season of BOSCH and really enjoyed it. Looking forward to John Oliver every week, as well as catching bits from the other late night comics.

Still catching up on old books I have missed for some reason over the years. Read four of Basil Copper's Mike Faraday mysteries in a row -- an acquired taste, methinks. Also reading a lot of old SF (SciFi for those who pronounce it "Skiffy"), as well as some stories from very early issues (1917-1926) issues of THE SATURDAY EVENING POST

Still managing to hold down my lunch after Trump's daily self-lovefest, but it has been a struggle.

Jack spent the night with us on Saturday, the first time since the pandemic began. He missed his silly face.

The terrible weather that hit the Southeast decided to pass us by which made me happy although my heart goes out to those who lost homes or family members.

I truly hope that everything you can see from out your window this week brings you joy, Patti. Take care.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I know so many people who have gotten dogs lately. Even people who have never had one.
One house down and my view would be completely different. The view is why we bought this fragile house. It better grow in fast or I will lose patience although my scalp feels better than it has in years. I could never bake or I would eat it all. I try to even make food I don't like too much.

Rick Robinson said...

Wow, I'm late coming to this, after having a busy at home morning. Partly wrestling with the iTunes Store, which decided not to let me play music Barbara bought before we moved to Portland. Grrr.

We haven't been doing a lot of viewing, other than Barbara watching the Daily Ego Briefing at the White House and he evening news (5-8 weekdays). However we squeezed in a couple of things: LAND OF THE PHARAOHS was a film I liked years ago when I saw it, and recorded it when it was on TCM. I liked it all over again, with Jack Hawkins as Pharaoh, and a very young Joan Collins as his concubine/2nd wife. The parts about building the sack-proof pyramid are the best. We also watched MONTEREY POP which was recorded at the 1967 festival. It wasn't as good as I remembered, or thought it would be, but it did get me listening to some of the music.

Dreams? I have a couple of themes. I dream that I'm in the early to mid Sixties, and I'm driving down a street with new and used car dealers. I stop at one and they have perfect used cars of favorites of mine, that I can somehow get cheaply and then send to the present time to enjoy here. I always have a hard time deciding which car(s) to pick, as apparently in the dream there are limits. Another one is a dream in which I'm living where I am now and retired, but somehow I'm in my mid-thirties so I am able to do a lot of things that are hard for the mid-70 me. I also seem to have much more money, because I often think I'll buy the houses on either side of ours and then tear them down and expand our garden onto those lots and plant lots of cool stuff.

I have done little walking or exercising, we're on a fairly steep hill and it's tough. So walking around the yard/garden is about it. I do go up and down the stairs several times a day. Better than nothing.

I think I'll take some pics of views out windows and post some.

Hang in there, Patti. You're strong.

Todd Mason said...

I have had the same sorts of anxiety dreams as well...I'm going to Not Get my degree because of this, then, usually, I remind myself in the dream that I already have my BA. I did drop out of my MS course. Rather how my first recurring nightmare I recall, from about age five, involved King Kong's hand reaching into a room to grab me, till I eventually was able to remind myself in the dream that this was a dream. Horror narrative is about coming to grips with terror, after all...suspense, too.

Two episodes in on MRS. AMERICA. I'm disappointed by a tendency toward almost, but happily only almost, Oliver Stone-level cartoonishness in how the events are depicted. Schlafly is constantly dealing with horrible sexism to such a degree that should make her "Click" a dozen times a day, as the narrative goes, but instead she grimaces and continues to keep up her party line, with little of the kind of comforts or at least small reinforcement demonstrated that might actually help her keep the cognitive dissonance going. I like Rose Byrne, but somehow she's not quite the right physical type (tiny, slighter than Steinem, 3 inches shorter) but perhaps more personally off-putting in that her attempt to capture Steinem's voice is nasally whiny. And boy, this show sure revels in women in both the feminist movement and the anti-feminist movement abrading each other...perhaps the closest approach to reality in politics, sadly, aside from a few telling vignettes, such as the woman who also works in the building MS. is based in asking Steinem to autograph the abortion-rights house ad in the first issue. I'll continue, but am not yet impressed...Blanchett is well-cast, indeed.

My mother was very happy to let her white hair come in...it definitely looked better than the dyed har she'd been treating with in her latter '40s...I think Alice and my friend Laura, both of east Asian ancestry, look more striking with the gray hairs streaking through the black, but they are unconvinced. My own brownish scalp hare, what remains of it, is going dark gray...my beard, which I'm about to shave again, has been essentially all white for more than a decade. But unbeautiful men are not looked at too closely, on balance.

Condolences on the anniversary. Miss my mother and having a conversation with my father, who hasn't been capable of sustaining one with me or much of anyone for several years now. But there is much to speak of with others...pity so much of it is fascist nonsense, and not solely restricted to Trump, McConnell and their minions, but all over the world. And too close to home.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I wish I could travel back and get my grandmother's "55 pink and gray Belair. What a great dream.
I think the problem, Todd, is trying to stick too many famous figures (that I well remember) into it. Tracy Ulman is good. So is Margo as always.

Jeff Meyerson said...

I like Rick's car dream, even though I have never been that much of a car person.

My favorite part of MONTEREY POP has always been Otis Redding, his last great performance a few months before he was killed. I remember seeing LAND OF THE PHAROAHS years ago, but about all I remember of it is Joan Collins.

As for hair dye, my mother insisted on keeping her too thin hair a ridiculous red/orange color until the end (age 86). She did buy a wig but never wore it. She always swore that when she was young (and a brunette, I add), her hair was so thick that she had to thin it, but judging from what I saw, and my hair (and my siblings') I find that hard to believe.


Todd Mason said...

That might be part of the problem, Patti...somewhat smug take on the subjects at hand isn't helping...and cramming in hordog Phil Crane and, of course, Shriley Chisholm and Bella Abzug, but leaving out, say, Patsy Mink or Claire Booth Luce (a perhaps Hawaii-centric list for 1972!) seems more conveniently potted than it needs to be. I remember them well, too...even if some of the Sissy Ferentholds were a bit less prominent by the time I reached my teens.

Todd Mason said...

Martindale is doing a good job as Abzug, but they aren't giving her Abzug's great sense of humor so far.

Todd Mason said...

Farenthold!

Gerard Saylor said...

My anxiety dreams have evolved over time. Into my thirties I still had high school anxiety dreams. I then had more college dreams with the standard situation of having missed the class all semester, or finding out I had not dropped the class and was still on the rolls.

I got a fair amounts of walking in over the weekend. Counting Friday I walked about 22.5 miles and was overly proud of myself. I'm planning to do a 15 mile walk this weekend with a weighted pack.