Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Here, There and Everywhere


I was changing the POV in a WIP yesterday from third to first and after I finished, I decided I'd probably missed dozens so I used the edit feature that allows you to search out words. I searched for "her "and "she" to change them to "my" and "I."

Inadvertently, I noticed I had a preponderance of "here" and "there" in the ms. as it picked up the "her" in both of those words.

Most of the "here" and "there" were unnecessary. I got rid of dozens. I'd never noticed this before. How we locate something with these words too often. "Come over here" instead of "Come over."

It was an interesting exercise in many ways because I noticed repetitions of other words too. In a longer piece like this, the over-usage was hidden.

What mistakes do you find yourself making as writers as you edit? Or what mistakes do you find as readers in other people's work. Too few commas, too many. Not enough help in attributing dialogue? Too much. There are many ways to go wrong. Using the passive voice too often.

In a book I recently read, the protagonist was constantly driving around. Maybe he did, but it got boring reading about it. Another problem-too much nodding and shrugging. Characters need to move but it has to be more interesting.

Count how many times a character nods. Way too much in my case.

20 comments:

YA Sleuth said...

I'm a nod and shrug offender in my writing, plus my characters run a lot. And I write in fragments, which Word really hates.

They once had a workshop at a conference about this: highlighting over-used words and editing them out. I do think that sometimes, you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. It's so easy to over-edit.

pattinase (abbott) said...

And that's another good point. When I was done, there was probably not a here or there anywhere. Once an editor told me, the story felt like I had smoothed the life out of a story.

Anonymous said...

I do have to watch my use of commas.

In general, when reading certain obvious things jump out: the use of "...(word without an 's') he hissed" is one of my peeves.

Jeff M.

Personally, I need to proofread more before posting, emailing, etc.

Also, I tend to type 'teh' for 'the' quite often.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I type teh too. i think it's because they are close together and the mind is ahead of the hand. My worst mistake along those lines was putting "shits" instead of "suits" in a brochure that went out to hundreds of alumni. Whoops.

George said...

I try to avoid the passive tense. And I focus on VERBS. I write down lists of verbs. Instead of "Tom is sick" I prefer "Tom threw up." Much more vivid!

Deb said...

I bet the alumni never forgot that brochure!

When I'm reading, I tend to notice certain constructions and grow progressively more annoyed as I encounter them throughout the book. Recently, I have been reading a mystery series where (in the first couple of books) the author described a lot of things as "[adjective]-looking noun," as in "a tired-looking woman," "a tattered-looking shirt," "a sad-looking policeman," etc. It was so overused, I was tempted to keep count.

Because each book included a foreword in which the author effusively thanked his editors, I had to wonder what they had been doing--since they obviously hadn't caught this overuse. On the plus side, the books were interesting enough to keep me reading and, I'm glad to say, in the subsequent books this descriptive technique is used only a few times.

I'll add one more thing: I'm not a fiction writer, my background is technical writing. One of the rules of communicating technical information is not to change terminology (if you use "enter" rather than "type" or "input," you should use "enter" throughout the document). I find I have a tendency to repeat the same words when I'm writing informally (emails, postings, letters, etc.).

pattinase (abbott) said...

Writing can get static so easily. Sometimes when you are really into the plot, you do your worst writing.
You have to remember to go back and touch up those gray roots.
Yes, once something like hyphenated descriptions draw your attention, you see them more than the story.

James Reasoner said...

I struggle constantly with repeating words and phrases too much. I search for certain words, like "though" and "then" and edit out a good two-thirds of them. I never thought about "here" and "there". I'll have to check and see how often I'm using them.

Dana King said...

Conversational ticks sometimes creep into my dialog. Some are okay--it lends authenticity--but a trusted reader pointed out a few examples to me the other day and I smacked myself in the forehead.

I also sometimes fall prey to the construct/phrase/word of the day. I'll use it to felicitous effect early in a writing session, then realize I used it, or a close variation, half a dozen times when I go over the pages the next day. Irritates the hell out of me.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Another bothersome one for me is "that." My first writing instructor said it's the scaffolding that can usually be removed once the building is complete. And he was right.
He told that he was coming.
He told me he was coming.
Oh, so true. Ubiquitous became just that a few years ago in a story.

Naomi Johnson said...

Good golly, I just went through a recent story of mine and it's eaten up with heres and theres. Here comes another revision.

Eric Beetner said...

I have a terrible tendency to overuse "that" and "had" which are totally useless 90% of the time. I've gotten much better but, same as you, the first time I noticed it I was shocked.

Evan Lewis said...

I, too, start with a search for "that" and jettison most of them. I find it easiest to find uneccessary phrases by reading the story out loud - very loud.

Travis Erwin said...

The words up and just always find a way into my writing though I keep a close r eye now. He stood rather than he stood up.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Up-boy, I'm gonna look for that one. You almost need to word search a dozen or so. Except "said" of course, which apparently is invisible. I really resist using anything other than said. And the dreaded adverbs. How does anyone write well really.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I do get to read aloud at my writing group-usually I hate the story by the end of it. But usually they don't.

Anonymous said...

I used to hit "send" too soon. I spellchecked, I proofread, but I've learned that a story may need to lay around a few extra days for other mistakes to bloat to the surface.

'Nuther thing -I now work mostly with flash fiction so my lazy voice sometimes says, "C'mon, you've read it half a dozen times, how many screwups can you make/miss in a few hundred words?" A lot.

[And Patti-- a belated Congrats!! to Megan for the noms! ]

John McAuley

pattinase (abbott) said...

I hit send too soon, too. And so does my husband (in scholarly journals). With me, it's because I either edit or send. I cannot let it lie.
Thanks, John.

Enchanted Oak said...

Passive voice is a pet peeve of mine. I find myself using it and I want to scream. "There was a something something" drives me wild. For my own writing, the subject of the sentence should never be "there"! The excessive "that" and "just" are so much fun to delete. I enjoy editing. It was my meal ticket for many years.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Love to edit too. But it feels like cheating some of the time. I know I use it to avoid moving forward.