Don't you hate it when a very improbable first line for a story pops into your head? It happens quite regularly to me. This one was generated by a comment from Todd Mason a few days ago and now it's stuck in my head like a old Motown song:
No one knew when the day began that it would end with us eating Martin.
Now where do you go with that? What lines have you eventually discarded or, better yet, worked out?
Would anyone care to add a second line to this tale? Maybe you can point me in the right direction.
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19 comments:
Hindsight is a powerful reminder that nothing is inevitable, that life is a parade of coulda woulda shoulda. There are a lot of things we could have done differently.
First and foremost, we should have bought barbecue sauce.
It would have hidden the taste of what was basically road kill. Poor Martin, the trip had been his idea.
Especially since he was the nicest guy in the warren.
I make a poor muse, or at least an indigestible one...but it does seem that an opening line that includes the story's ending isn't the worst way to start.
Are they literally or figuratively eating Martin? (and the folktale, "Wait Til Martin Comes," is perhaps best left out of this occasion...or is it?) Seems the discussion so far is toward the gristly.
Clearly, he has only himself to blame.
It's not as if you'd choose Martin, if you were going to go cannibal with forethought. But he had to ramp up the Mahler on the car's subwoofers on the marginal mountain roads in avalanche country. And it was he who insisted the nearly bald tire should be good for one more roadtrip.
Martin as bunny, Sandra, or as martin?
He'd been so excited. A long weekend camping--that's how he phrased it. Never mind that the weekend was basically a meaningless concept for the four of us. Martin and I were out of work, Max was "underemployed" and lucky to get twenty hours a week. Chris, lucky bastard, set his own schedule.
(Go cannibalistic bunnies!)
Warren has other meanings.
Yes, but "warren" called to mind rabbits, which called to mind a particular rabbit my sister owned as a kid. The rabbit's name was Smokey, and she was a very ill-tempered beast. We called her the Attack Rabbit. She drew a lot of my sister's blood, and I could completely see her engaging in a killing (and eating) spree. (The rabbit, not my sister.)
Is that part of the story or an explanation because Attack Rabbit could explain a lot.
Warren
1.An overcrowded living area.
2.A mazelike place where one may easily become lost: a warren of narrow, dark alleys and side streets.
Maybe we want to stay with the Attack Rabbit idea now that the idea's been introduced. I see a quicker end for both Martin and the story with that device. Flash fiction can be a blessing.
But it was Chris who spotted the Attack Rabbit in the rearview mirror and did nothing.
What a difference a word makes. The first time I wrote it this way: Especially since he was the nicest guy in the club.
However, we figured that eating him was the best way to get rid of the evidence of his murder.
And the lawyer weighs in with the best explanation. HA!
Just be careful not to rewrite "Two Bottles of Relish."
Or "Specialty of the House." Only so much you can do with eating people, I guess.
Let alone that, in the meantime, he would have contrived an identity switch with Betty.
Too clever, Martin. And we're off on a new plotline.
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