Monday, September 23, 2019
Things That Are Making Me Happy
But now my garage door will not go down.
Yay, My new tag and new Michigan registration arrive today. Somebody up there likes me.
Two days ago I wrote a cheerful post that said I was beginning to be happy, at least some of the time. That my fifty years of happiness with Phil had given me muscle memory to revert to happiness. That I was looking forward to new books, movies, TV, dinner and movie with friends, taking walks.
But yesterday a number of problems to be solved sent me back to my earlier state of anxiety. So I took that post down.
Lots of the issues concern the car I don't drive. My plate registration did not yield me the required tab for instance. It is lost in the mail, I guess. And I have to have the car serviced even though I don't drive it. And one credit card is still pulling money from the wrong account And at two in the morning, I woke up thinking I didn't know how to stop payment on a check should I need to.
And how do I feel about going to NY for Thanksgiving and staying at a friend's vacant place. Can I navigate NY on my own? Will I be nervous hailing cabs without a man beside me? Will I be able to handle walking back from the subway alone at night?
Even though I was the one who always figured out where we were going and how to get there, Phil drove or was by my side in NY or wherever. This is one of the selfish reasons for missing him. Another one: he looked at the mail and decided what to do with things. Now I must look at every piece of mail and determine what is to be done about it. Now I must open every jar, even if I use a wrench. I have to decide who to call about every problem. Selfish reasons but ones that occur every day.
I won't list the less selfish reasons. You know what they are.
Still it is better than five months ago. Some days.
What's new with you?