Friday, December 20, 2013

Five Minutes

This flash piece is for Loren Eaton's ADVENT GHOST STORY CHALLENGE.
The ghost story has to be one-hundred words. For more stories, see I SEE LIGHTING FALL.



Five Minutes
by Patti Abbott


At five minutes to twelve on Christmas Eve, a voice at Violet’s ear said, “A halfpenny for the rest of your day, Dearie.” 


Violet needed that halfpenny. It'd be enough to put food on the table. And how much could the five minutes left in her day be worth? 


 “I don’t mind,” she said, holding out her hand. 


Grabbing a loaf and cheese in exchange for the coin, she rushed home. But her house, near London Bridge, was no more. A fire had ravaged it.


“Five minutes earlier and it would’ve been you inside,” a fireman told her.

13 comments:

Loren Eaton said...

Perfect, Patti! You nailed it. I'll make a drabbler of you yet. Very well done.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Thanks , Loren!

pattinase (abbott) said...

Thanks , Loren!

John said...

I gasped. I know this feeling oh too well. Violet lives a charmed life. And I wish the same for you and your family. Merry, Merry, Patti!

Tony said...

Shocking! Loved it, great job!

George said...

I'm with Loren, John, and Tony

Michael Morse said...

That was great. I've actually told people the same thing. (five minutes earlier thing that is, I'm a firefighter in Providence.)

Elizabeth Gaucher said...

"for the rest of your day, dear." Fantastic.

Chestertonian Rambler said...

Nice.

Anonymous said...

Nice job. Short but all there.


Jeff M.

Margot Kinberg said...

Oh, Patti, that's so powerful!!! Wow! Thanks

Joe D'Agnese said...

Lovely as always. Thank you.

James D Witmer said...

I love how you set us up to distrust the voice (or am I naturally suspicious?), and it turned out to be her savior. Creepy happy!