Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Your "List" Aria


In the Mikado, there is a famous aria where a government official lists all the annoying people whose heads he'd like to chop off.

What people would you put on your list? Who won't be missed if you put him/her on the list? Whose head needs chopping?

1. People who talk during an opera.
2. Arms dealers
3. Box Cues

19 comments:

Rob Kitchin said...

I'll go with as number 1: Arms Dealers. There would be something nicely ironic about someone chopping their heads off to get rid of them. I'll think about No. 2. I suspect there might end up being a bit of a list if I put my mind to it!

Jerry House said...

I don't think I'd go as far as chopping off heads, but I'm sure I could come up with a list of people I'd vote off the island permanently.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Regard is metaphorically.

Kieran Shea said...

Patti: How much time do you have? Seriously. I'm not for chopping off heads. Trap-dooring people into molten lava, well, that's a different kettle of circus peanuts entirely. About five or six long blocks from Hell's Kitchen there's a warren of vermin b/w 47th and 48th Streets that vamp and shuck and generally poison the feeble minds of the masses. Rhymes with Box Cues. I'd start there. Maybe yawn open the jaws to hell and sink the whole building. We could sit on top of Rockefeller Center and watch. I'll bring pretzels and a couple of seltzers.

pattinase (abbott) said...

I know. I had to sort through a thousand gripes to come up with this. But because these people sat behind us at THE MIKADO it seemed appropriate.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...my list of people. I agree about arms dealers. Also people who have children but don't take care of them. Also, telephone salespersons. And people who take up two spaces with their huge SUVs. And, I'm sure, others. Not maybe having their heads chopped off, but voted off the island?? Yes.

Richard R. said...

These all go on a slow, one-way trip to Antarctica. Each person gets can of Sterno, a small tin pot, a screwdriver and a fur cap.

1. Terrorists Suicide bombers (same as #1?)
2. Members of the Tea Party
3. Anyone who mistreats a child, especially sexually.
4. Financial predators, internet scammers, virus writers and phishers.

Oh, and the screwdriver? That's so, once in Antarctica, they can dig for mushrooms to supplement their diet of penguin poo.

Rob Kitchin said...

No. 2 is guillotine makers. Now chopping their heads off would be ironic.

Cap'n Bob Napier said...

Scientologists, child molestors, murderers, terrorists, career criminals, people who talk in the movie theater, spammers and hackers, road hogs, religious fanatics, rappers, noisy neighbors, the officals of Superbowl XL, Hitlery, and many more.

Bernadette in Australia said...

Well you're all very community spirited wanting to lop the heads off arms dealers and wotnot but I've taken a bit more of a personal aproach...I mean it is all about me isn't it?

1. People who talk/text/make noise during a movie, play or other entertainment that I've paid good money to see
2. People who shout out intimate details of their lives to the person on the other end of their mobile/cell phone calls while in public (especially on public transport when I can't escape their incessant babbling)
3. The person (or persons) unknown in my office who daily leaves the communical microwave in a state of tomato-y filth so I have to spend 10 minutes cleaning before I can heat up my own lunch
4. People who refuse to accept a polite "no thanks, not interested" when they try to sell me on their religion/political party/social cause
5. Whoever it was who first came up with the concept of reality television

Bernadette in Australia said...

of course I meant communal microwave.

Barbara Martin said...

Nice to be back to read more of your posts, Patti.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Where have you been, Barbara?

pattinase (abbott) said...

All of those Bernadette. I had a much longer list up here yesterday but decided I seemed a bit too lethal.

Todd Mason said...

Unless Box Cues is pseudo-Cockney for the Fox News Channel, I have to wonder what anyone has against pool/snooker/billiards cue sticks that can be disassembled...

pattinase (abbott) said...

I think you read it right. You have future as a code breaker.

Todd Mason said...

Well, somehow even more annoying than ex-NBC employee Steve Doucy and ex-CNN employee Glenn Beck is the notion that FNC is correpsondent to the "far left" MSNBC, which is nothing of the sort (in the left side of the center at best...Link TV and Pacifica Radio are on balance leftist, but even they aren't as reliably as doctrinaire leftist as the Fox News clowns are doctrinaire rightwingers).

pattinase (abbott) said...

Agreed. Like NPR, they feel obliged to play fair, which FOX News does not.

Richard R. said...

I'll add the inventor of the phone tree.