And that was the kind of mother I was, I'm afraid. I threw myself into mothering so thoroughly that I had time for little else. This both advantaged and handicapped my kids. I won't go into how; you can guess.
And now my parents have come under the same regime. My 93 year old father moved in with us a few weeks ago able to care for himself in almost every way. Now he comes to me to blow his nose, get his meds, get something to drink. He coughs and I fly downstairs, confusing both of us.
Are you like this as a parent? Was your mother like this? Why do we feel the need to take too good a care of people even when we know it's not the right thing to do.
Anyway, this is what I'm doing nowadays. Being part of what Philip Wylie called "momism" half a century ago. And it ain't necessarily a good thing? I used to be a writer; now I'm just a Mom. My mother even called me that the other day and she isn't senile. Just overhandled.
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4 comments:
"Overhandled," that's funny.
When my kids were born I became a stay at home dad. I tell people I'm terrible at it and they always, "No you're not," but they don't know.
I know full well if I was a woman, the sorry condition of my house (and my kids' clothes and lunches and...) would be a hot topic of schoolyard gossip, but as it is, it's like I'm some kind of hero.
I think these things are changing, though. In my schoolyard there are now nearly as many stay at home dads (or work from home dads) as moms and we're starting to lose our free ride.
I come from a very working-class family and my mom always worked (for the phone company, she did a killer Geraldine, snorts and all, for those of us old enough to get that) and she was no uber-mom at home. Sometimes I wish she was.
John-My husband was home with the kids a lot too. Between us we parented them too death.
Is that why Megan got into noir films at the age of 5....
By your standards I'm a horrible mother. I leave even the baby to his own devices while I try to catch a few sentences. I'm usually composing while I try (unsuccessfully) to play with his brother. I am sure that I'd be a much better mother if this darn creativity didn't get in my way.
However, your children do still talk to you, right? So you couldn't have been that bad!
No, my standards say you a terrific mother because you've maintained interests of your own. I was a mother at 22, too young probably to separate myself from them.
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