In SHOT IN
DETROIT, twelve African-American men under forty die. At one point in
its long gestation, I composed back stories for each man, not sure if I
would use them or not.
I decided not. The story belonged to Violet Hart, the photographer, and these long pieces diluted that--and it made for too many characters, something I personally don't care for.
But I do feel their stories are worth telling. The stories are all basically fictitious but mirror the sort of deaths that take place in any urban area.
I decided not. The story belonged to Violet Hart, the photographer, and these long pieces diluted that--and it made for too many characters, something I personally don't care for.
But I do feel their stories are worth telling. The stories are all basically fictitious but mirror the sort of deaths that take place in any urban area.
Willis Dumphrey and Carla Battista
The only convenient— no, make that the only possible time—for
them to have sex was before eight A.M. And to top it off, they had to do it on a narrow cot in the boss’s
office. It took Carla back to her high school days when she made love on her
mother’s bed while Mom was at her shift at the Chrysler Plant on
Jefferson.
Travis, their boss, kept the cot for similar purposes if that was Vera Wang she smelled in the fiber. If their wages were any indication, he was too cheap to spring for a room.
Travis, their boss, kept the cot for similar purposes if that was Vera Wang she smelled in the fiber. If their wages were any indication, he was too cheap to spring for a room.
Travis Slack, former
ballplayer and now businessman, never came in much before noon, and many days
didn’t show up at all. He was about to run for City Council or so the Metro
paper said. He never confided in his bartender and cook. Sometimes she worried
the scent of their morning activity would
seep into the room and trip them up, but at some point in the past, it’d become
part of it.
The two of them were supposed to come in by nine to set up.
The bar attracted an early lunch crowd—people from downtown offices, the
courts, or the stadiums if there was a game. The waitresses, hostess, and dish-washer
started work at ten or so when things picked up, giving the lovers a nice chunk of
time. Carla and Willis finished their shift at six and went home to their
spouses. But there was this first—this magic—and almost every day.
It was not a love affair exactly or if it was she was kidding
herself. It felt more two lonely horny
people taking comfort in each other. Too bad it had to be at this hour, though
at some point, it began to seem right. When one of them took a vacation or got
sick, the other one grew antsy. Making love with her husband twice a month—that’s what seemed odd now. That’s what seemed cheesy or
stale.
“You’re going to invite Sweetie in
here while I’m gone, aren’t you,” Carla asked, curled up in Willis’ arms.
Sweetie was a waitress who’d just turned 22. Willis laughed. They were dressed
now but couldn’t quite say goodbye. They had a few minutes. She was going to
Lapeer for a few days to help her daughter out with her new baby. It’d be her
first grandchild if the kid ever got itself born. Trixie was a week late and
showing no signs of an imminent birth. Going bonkers waiting. Of course, there
was no husband on the scene to calm her down. The lunatic father had hit the
road.
Willis was about to say something funny—she could tell from the
smile that was beginning to form on his lips—when the door to the office swung
open and two men wearing masks pushed into the room, obviously startled to find
the two of them. Carla started to scream but then thought better of it. The
larger man shrugged and without saying a word, yanked the cord from a lamp,
motioned for them to get up, and herded them toward the cold storage unit down
the hallway. They could hear the other man rifling the safe as the three moved
in single file down the hallway. Once inside the storage room, the man inadvertently
rubbed up against Willis and his mask slipped down. They saw it was Travis and
glanced at each other in shock.
“Too bad,” he said. Just those two words was all. Looking
indecisive for a second or two, he shrugged, pulled a knife from his pocket,
and quickly stabbed Willis in the chest and stomach. Willis slid to the floor
as blood spurted. His eyes went blank in seconds.
“Travis,” Carla started to say. “You don’t…” She could see the
terror in his eyes, but also the heartlessness. The coldness.
“Money for a campaign’s hard to come by. If I rob myself…”
He shrugged then and his arm rose over his head, coming down
hard into her breast. His ballplayer days were behind him, she thought as she
died, but he still had some power in those arms.
3 comments:
Great idea for promotion teasers, too.
I liked that a lot. Surprising and sad.
This is really well-written, Patti. And I do like learning about these people.
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