This is born of sleeping too much in the daytime today. Here I am thinking of such things instead of dreaming of them.
This is strictly hypothetical.
Your neighbor, a recent widower of 62 with grown children in a distant state, confides that he has been diagnosed with an illness that will eventually kill him. But with proper treatment he can have 3-5 years of a relatively a painless life. You commiserate, uneasy that he has told you, a relative stranger, such intimate details.
You wake up at two a.m. a few weeks later and remember that you forgot to turn the sprinkler off. Outside, once you have turned off the water, you hear the faint but unmistakable sound of a car running in your neighbor's garage.
What would you do?
21 comments:
Wow, I'd probably run to see if I could help him, but inside I'd probably be half hoping I was too late because he'd made his decision and I feel it should be respected. However, if I didn't do anything I'd be very upset with myself and wouldn't be able to stand it.
Gotta go see if he can be helped. I couldn't live with myself after if I didn't. The neighbor makes his decisions, and I make mine.
I agree with both. I would need to see if I could help, but ultimately, I would have to respect the man's decision. Just as any decision I make along the same lines if such need arose I would expect people to honor.
It appears that everyone assumes that this is a suicide attempt. Maybe not. At a minimum, I would investigate and/or call the police.
I would like to think I'd let him make his own choices, but I have a feeling instinct would take over and I would throw the garage door open.
I am quite sure I would also summon courage to check what was going on. And as I know that a very large proportion of suicides are committed while people suffer from a depression, it is too simple just to conclude that it is his own decision. Some people want to die because they can´t see a way out, but if their attempt is unsuccessful, they may see things in another light after a few weeks or months.
I'd go get him, but I don't know that I'd tell anyone. I'd talk to him about getting some support or other help and leave him be, knowing he had a friend. If I were in the same situation a second time, I'd let him go. I couldn't live with myself if I'd thought I'd let him kill himself in a moment of weakness, but if he's committed enough to go for it again, I'll respect his decision.
Imminently sensible, Dana.
You have to make the effort to save him the first time (no time to think about his wishes, etc., I don't think) ... but boy, that is one hell of a scenario to start a story/book with ...
This is why I have insomnia.
Suicide, if that is really what is happening in the garage, is an existential choice for any individual. No one has the right to interfere.
However, even though I offer that as the philosophical position, I suppose one must at least investigate (without involving others) with a mind to finding out whether this is an accident-in-progress or suicide-in-progress.
If the former, get involved. If the latter, respect the individual's choice.
Is that cold hearted? Perhaps. Is that rational. Definitely.
That would be my rational take on it, but I am not sure I wouldn't interfere since out impulses are sometimes ungovernable.
Knowing someone who actually tried to go that way, I would remember that suicide attempts are often "cries for help". I'd definitely investigate.
I recently dealt with a similar situation. I have been corresponding with a prisoner, a lifer, who wrote me that he was preparing to kill himself. As painful as it was, I notified the warden. I could not be complicit in his death, and in any case, it seemed a plea for help.
In that case, I really think it was or he would not have confided in you.
A comment to R/T: people who suffer from a severe depression are often unable to decide which socks to put on. They may think they genuinely wish to die, but if you stop them, they often get better and may have many good years with friends and families. Would I feel bad if I interfered in that case? No.
And if the person was really determined to die, he would try again later when I was not around.
Do I know what I am talking about? Yes. But no more about that in public.
I would investigate and, if necessary, call the authorities.
I was in a similar situation (although not related to suicide) just after Katrina. Our neighbor (a widow with grown children who do not live nearby) had major hurricane damage to her home and was sleeping in her car (with the engine running!). I was shocked--and invited her to stay with us; but she's very independent and wouldn't hear of it. So I had to make some phone calls and track down her children. Thankfully, a few days later, a FEMA trailer arrived for her. Some might call me an interfering old bat, but I couldn't have stood by while an 80-year-old woman slept in her car.
I would check first making sure that what I'm hearing is what I think is happening. Then I'd call 911. In the meantime I'd see if I could get the garage door open. No 'ands, ifs or buts'. By letting me know what's going on, the neighbor has, I think, somehow, asked for my help in some way.
Suicide is against the law. I'd break into his garage and if he was still alive I'd place him under citizen's arrest.
Ah, Cap'n Bob, you're all heart!
Just doing my Dwight Schrute impression, Deb. Seriously, I'd try to save him.
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