Thursday, December 17, 2009

Worst Movie of the Decade


There are all kinds of lists going around of the worst movies of the last decade. I haven't seen any of the movies on these lists--barely heard of them. I think to be a significantly bad movie there has to have been some pretense of a good movie inside it. You had to screw up a good piece of writing or a good idea. Something that makes it worthy of remembering as truly bad-worthy.

My choices for the worst movies I've seen this decade are The DaVinci Code (Howard), The Ladykillers (Coen Bros) and Anything Else (Allen). I'm not going to defend these choices, but surely this was the worst movie Allen or the Coen Bros. ever made. And although I didn't particularly love the book of the DaVinci Code, the movie took any strengths it had and made it murkier and more ludicrous.

What movies stick out for you?

37 comments:

David Cranmer said...

"Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever starring Antonio Banderas and Lucy Liu.

Laurie said...

I only went to see the DaVinci Code because my boyfriend at the time wanted to see it. That relationship didn't last.

Dana King said...

Live Free or Die Hard. It took work to combine Bruce Willis, Timothy Olyphant, and Kevin Smith and make something this bad.

Runner-up: Transformers. This doesn't win because it couldn't be anything but bad, but it deserves mention because it was so bad I forbade The Beloved Spouse from putting the sequel on our NetFlix queue.

le0pard13 said...

David Cranmer has already named it.

Todd Mason said...

I've had the good sense not to watch more of THE DA VINCI CODE than take a quick look at Audrey Tautou (I seem unusually lucky in that whenever I flip by TITANIC on pay cable stations, the sketch sequence is playing, so I can enjoy the only valuable bit of that film, as well, and then move on)...Tom Hanks's lack of enthusiasm while flacking for it was impossible to miss.

As bad as BALLISTIC (which I sat through) and the first new TRANSFORMERS (could handle about three minutes of that one) were, I'll repeat myself from last night and mention WANTED, like BALLISTIC a comic-book movie but unlike BALLISTIC stroking every arrogant fanboy self-mythologizing masturbatory impulse you know is within such creatures, down to The Hot Chick mentor who (Spoiler Warning!) offs herself for the greater good, so that soulless evil geek can continue to be the kind of self-righteous Hero He Rilly Rilly Is. In a decade in which I was dragged to THE HOUSE BUNNY and the penultimate STAR WARS pile, this one was the only cinematic film I sat through to nearly equal the utter uselessnes of the Oscar-winning CRASH, that inept sitcom of a message movie.

James Reasoner said...

I hated the first HULK movie (the one directed by Ang Lee), which completely missed and perverted the point of the character.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Wow-Never heard of it, David. I wonder how many people went for reasons such as that, Laurie. We had friends who adored the book beyond anything rational and went with them. And they liked it!
I have only liked two Bruce Willis films and neither of them were action films. Action films ruins a lot of actors.
And directors, James. Why did Norton do that film either?

George said...

I try to avoid bad movies, but sometimes a movie you hope will be good turns out to be a stinker. That's what happened when I went to see the third MATRIX movie, THE MATRIX: REVOLUTIONS. Terrible, terrible, terrible.

Kieran Shea said...

Battlefield Earth. That's it! Circle gets the square. Game. Set. Match.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Yes, Matrix 3 I rated a 1 on my 1-10 scale. Battlefield Earth, I stayed away from. Saw too many trailers that looked scary bad.

Todd Mason said...

BATTLEFIELD EARTH was as stupid as INDEPENDENCE DAY, and completely shot through a blue filter...I had forgotten that it was released in the last decade. However, it wasn't a disappointment to anyone, I don't think...to keep within the parameters of what you'd asked (after NIGHTWATCH, and with a cast that included Morgan Freeman, I was hoping for good things from WANTED, for example...CRASH also flashed a good cast). MOON should probably be added to the list, as a vastly overpraised film with perhaps one good aspect (its protagonist amusingly lives the life of a post-teen stoner living in his parents' basement and eating junk food while watching typical UHF tv fare of the 1980s...while also being employed as an improbable miner of sorts on the Moon).

Chris said...

I'm with Kieran on Battlefield Earth, though Transformers 2 was so bad I rented it just to see, and spent the next few hours crying in the shower...

Paul D. Brazill said...

Ballastic is pretty rubbish but Cassandra's Dream is Much, Much worse.

Scott Parker said...

Like George, I do pretty well at shying away from movies I know will be bad. Having said that, Indiana Jones 4 was the movie I most looked forward to but was ultimately disappointed *while watching the film*. Sure, there were some good moments (seeing Marion again was wonderful) but the rest of the schlock wasn't good. Only saving grace: new music from John Williams and the creation of Gabriel Hunt.

Corey Wilde said...

It would take too long to decide on just one title so I'll generalize and say any movie that starred an ex-SNL cast member. (As in 'Corky Romano,' 'Pluto Nash,' 'Little Nicky,' 'The Love Guru,' etc.)

Todd Mason said...

However, Corey, there was LETTING GO OF GOD...

wv: listi

pattinase (abbott) said...

Amen to the SNL movies and I do not except Will Farrel except for the one with Emma Thompson-name escapes me. I fell for Indiana Jones 4 and it was horrible. I don't know how actors manage to get through a bad script unless they are too dim or too inside it or too greedy. Another candidate Australia with Nicole Kidman. Yikes was that a dog. Cassandra's Dream is ringing a bell.

Todd Mason said...

CASSANDRA'S DREAM--another Woody Allen, barely released in the US, I think. Yes, STRANGER THAN FICTION with Farrell and Thompson is by me a wonderful film (as is LETTING GO...).

Deb said...

Everyone needs to wait until the new Sherlock Holmes movie is released. Based on what I've seen of the trailers, we'll have a new champion in a few days.

(Incidently, that sound you hear is the collective rolling in their graves of Conan Doyle, Basil Rathbone, and Jeremy Brett.)

pattinase (abbott) said...

Yes, the trailers look awful. Way too smug and way to action-oriented. Next Nero Wolfe will be ice-skating at Rock Center.

Perplexio said...

GI JOE: The Rise of Cobra Haven't seen it nor do I have any desire to see it. A live action movie based on an 80s cartoon that was basically designed to sell toys to 8-12 year old boys... Who in Hollywood greenlighted such an atrocious idea?

Richard Robinson said...

Being on the left coast, and sleeping in, I always seem to get to these things after everyone else has commented, which is probably good since I get to see the astute remarks of the knowledgeable many. I figure when it comes to bad films, sequels are a good place to start. I haven't heard of most of the films mentioned already. I will say I liked Indy Jones 4 better than Scott, even it if was the weakest of the series.

I don't watch that many films and try to watch ones with some chance of being good, though I get sucked in by SF films now and then. I thought WALL-E was way overrated, for instance. Most newer Christmas films are awful (ELF). I agree about Da Vinci Code (Angels and Demons was a little better).

The Potter films are getting less appealing as they get darker, but the same is true with the books. Worst? I don't know.

John D said...

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou had a great cast, but still managed to be an awful movie. It was the worst movie I've seen in years. The whole thing seemed like a two hour improv skit gone horribly awry.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Favorite Australian movies for Perplexio: Picnic at Hanging Rock, My Brilliant Career, Gallipoli, Bright Star, Dead Calm, The Year of Living Dangerously, Heavenly Creatures, Proof (one about the blind fellow) just to name a few. What are your favs?

Deb said...

Not to quibble, but I think Heavenly Creatures (a fabulous movie) is actually from New Zealand.

My favorite Australian movie is The Last Wave, starring that well-known Australian actor, Richard Chamberlain.

pattinase (abbott) said...

You're right. Peter Jackson's first, right.
I agree on the Aquatic Life, but someone told me last week, if I watched it three or four times I would get it. Maybe.

Todd Mason said...

Peter Jackson: Director:

Heavenly Creatures (1994)
... aka Heavenly Creatures: The Uncut Version (USA: longer version)
... aka Himmlische Kreaturen (Germany)

Braindead (1992)
... aka Dead Alive (USA)
... aka Dead-Alive (USA: DVD box title)

Meet the Feebles (1989)
... aka Just the Feebles (USA)

Bad Taste (1987)

The Valley (1976)

Deb said...

How old was he when he made "The Valley"?

Todd Mason said...

He was born on Hallowe'en in '61, so probably 14, perhaps edging into 15.

Fleur Bradley said...

G-Force. Worst EVER. I felt like I should've been paid to watch it. Kids hated it too.

Chad said...

Of the decade? God, there's so many. Virtually all of the unnecessary remakes have been utter crap. Then there's Ballistic, Transformers, Indy 4, the new Star Wars movies, Alien vs. Predator, Fanboys, Wanted (should have actually made the comic and not whatever that was), Constantine, 98% of the movies Will Ferrel made (if they show ELF on USA one more time I might shoot someone)...it would probably be easier to say what didn't suck.

Mike Dennis said...

Was THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY out within the last 10 years?

Or how about ANACONDA II: THE HUNT FOR THE BLOOD ORCHID?

pattinase (abbott) said...

Having kids leads you into all sorts of bad movies. I remember.
Those Star War movies of this century only seem worse in retrospect.

Ray said...

Most of the movies mentioned I've not seen. But then good movies - the kind that grab me.
I was disappointed with 'St.Trinians' in that the spirit of the original was there but things were missing that would make it a 'true' part of this type of film.
The producers claimed that they did not want to encourage young people to smoke or drink etc. Then along came 'Wild Child' that did the 'St. Trinians' thing to such a degree that it would have ranked alongside the original 'St.Trinians' stories.

Friday's forgotten book is up.

kitty said...

"Mama Mia!" was one of the worst for me. I have a Greek friend who lived where the movie was filmed. I like Abba, so I bought the movie. I think I made it through 20-30 minutes, and that was for the scenery only, before I quit. I tried to give it to the Greek, but he hated it as much as I did. And he likes Abba, too.

Btw, my 8-y-o grandson loved "G-Force."
...

Al Tucher said...

I have seen hardly anything since the millennium began, but I did see Borat. My companion for the evening, who was the one who chose the movie, laughed for ninety minutes. She did not stop for a moment. But as we left the theater she said, "That's the worst movie I've ever seen."

That would seem to put Borat in a category of its own, but I'm not sure what to call it.

Anonymous said...

He's Just not Into You was the lamest movie i rented this year. Ghosts of Girlfriends Past was also a horrible rental, despite how much i like Jen Garner.